Hello. You Have Died.
TWs: mentions of death and suicide
[Hello. You have died.]
“I— hold on. Wait a minute. I’m dead?”
[Yes.]
“Right. The car crash?”
[Yes.]
“This is a crazy way to break the news, by the way. Kinda feels like I’m in a video game. Wait, is this a video game? Is life a video game?”
[Please clarify your definition of ‘video game’.]
“You know what, nevermind. So I’m dead, right? What happens now?”
[Please prepare for judgement.]
“Judgement? Like, heaven or hell kind of judgement? Okay, can you actually explain what you mean instead of just throwing words at me? It’s not helping with the whole dead thing and all.”
[I am not throwing words at you. I believe that would be physically impossible.]
“I can’t tell if you’re joking or not. Also, you can only answer one question at a time, apparently. So what is… what did you call it, ‘judgement’?”
[There is a survey available for completion.]
“Oh, no way. A survey? Are you serious? You can’t be serious. Oh, come on, a survey. That can’t be real. Please laugh or something. Can you laugh? Do you even have a sense of humour?”
[No.]
“Oh. Right, so uh, this survey, I have to do it? It’s not a choice?”
[You may choose to undertake judgement, or cease to exist.]
“Wow, what a tough choice, take a survey or die forever, man, I’m really struggling with this one. I think I’ll pick… take the survey. I know. What a surprise. Bet you didn’t see that one coming.”
[Thank you for choosing to complete our survey. There are twenty questions about the life you have lived which may require you to visit your memories. Please do your best to remain calm throughout the process. The survey will begin now.]
- What was your favorite activity?
“Oh, nice and easy. Going on long road trips with the radio on. It makes— made— everything disappear.”
[Correct.]
“Wait, there are right and wrong answers? Are you serious? These are objective questions, mate. How do you know if they’re right or wrong? What the hell—”
- What was the most valuable thing you owned?
“—is going on? Well, okay, I guess we’re just going along with it, huh, I—uh, I had a real nice watch. Worth a few grand, probably. Got it from my dad. It was meant to be my sister’s, you know. Guess I got lucky.”
[Correct.]
- What was the most valuable thing you lost?
“Haha, my life, probably?”
[Incorrect.]
“What do you mean incorrect? My life is plenty valuable? I’m kind of offended, actually. Well, on second thoughts, I had this maths test that I got full marks on in second grade. Gave it to my parents and never found that piece of paper again.”
[Correct.]
- Were you ever proud of yourself?
“That’s a tough question, man, I don’t know.”
[Incorrect.]
“No.”
[Correct.]
- Did you love your parents?
“Kind of? Depends on what you mean by love, I guess. I was grateful, you know, everyone is, to the people that gave up so much of themselves to raise you. But that’s exactly what makes it hard to love them, to be honest. It’s hard to love someone who holds their own pain over you as… I don’t know, some kind of blackmail. It’s hard to love people you’re indebted to.”
[Incorrect.]
“I wish I did. I wish I could.”
[Incorrect.]
“Yeah, so much.”
[Correct.]
- What was the worst moment in your life?
“Funny story, it was actually that maths test. I got cocky, and I said… well, I said something I shouldn’t have. I said, see, you don’t need her, I’m smart too. And then my mom slapped me.”
[Incorrect.]
“What? Well, maybe it was when my sister was born. I was living a great life as a single child, and then she came along, an incredible genius who was good at everything, and then suddenly the whole world revolved around her. I know, pretty horrible thoughts in the mind of an eight-year-old.”
[Incorrect.]
“What do you want me to say, mate? I have plenty of bad moments in my life, do you want me to list them out for you? That time the teacher asked me to read in front of the class, and I stumbled over all my words and the whole class laughed at me, and my sister went red like it was her that they were laughing at? That time I asked to go to my friend’s birthday party but my dad told me I shouldn’t be thinking of going out when my sister’s stuck all day at home, preparing for her next science competition? Or that time— oh, you mean that time I tried to kill myself, and for a split second my parents looked at me like they wanted me to.”
[Correct.]
- What was the best moment in your life?
“I can’t think of one, to be honest.”
[Incorrect.]
“When we went on that family road trip, the four of us, and Katy Perry was on the radio and nothing seemed to be as big of a deal as I was making it out to be.”
[Incorrect.]
“Right after— that, when they sat next to my bed at the hospital, and they actually— they said— they told me I was irreplaceable, and that I should be happy with who I am. They said sorry. I don’t think I’ll ever believe them, but it didn’t matter then, and it doesn’t matter now. Pretty pathetic, for that to be the reason to keep living.”
[Correct.]
- When did you feel the guiltiest?
“When she— when my sister died. I felt like I had done it, somehow, like I had put the cancer there, because I wanted her to go away and she did. She always did what I told her to do, you know. I think she could feel that I didn’t like her. It’s not her fault that she was so smart, and I knew that, but I needed someone to blame because the only other option was to blame myself, and you know, I’ve never been that brave.”
[Correct.]
- Do you think you were a good person?
“I think the answer’s pretty obvious by now.”
[Incorrect.]
“No. I don’t think so.”
[Correct.]
- Do you think you deserve another chance to live?
“No, to be honest. Isn’t that funny? I guess it is forever death for me, huh?”
[Correct.]
[Thank you for your response. Your judgement results will be released shortly.]
“Shortly? Why not now? If I’m going to cease to exist I’d rather see it coming, mate.”
[We are waiting on 16/29 of the responses.]
“What does that mean? Why are there twenty-nine other responses? That’s a specific number.”
[You are only 1/29 of the people who knew you well enough to give a response. Would you like to see the results of judgement, so far?]
“…Alright.”
[Out of the 13 responses recorded so far, 1/13 answered that you do not deserve another chance to live. 12/13 answered that you do.]
[12/13 thought you were a good person, and 12/13 were proud of you.]
[12/13 wanted to let you know that they loved you.]
…
[Are you crying?]
…
[Would you like a tissue?]
Writer – Amy Zuo
Editor – Alvia Farooqui
Artist – Khemjira Phutirat
–April 2026–
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